Ford Pinto

You know, the Ford Pinto wasn't such a bad car if you didn't mind a leaking gas tank resulting from rear collisions. It seems that a slight redesign would have saved some lives,according to a leaked(pun intended) Ford memo showing it would cost less to pay off lawsuits then to fix the problem. Check out Wikipedia and other sources for more info on this topic. If true, this is a horrible way to run a business. Maybe all those people who signed off on this manufacturing defect should have their relatives strapped in Pintos undergoing rear collision testing. To make it more fair, they should also weld the doors closed and film the testing. Once the Pinto occupants roast to death, the Ford Executives should be forced to watch the tape in an endless loop for the rest of their lives. Which might not be too long if they were forced to drive Pintos. Could there be any lower form of life then these guys?

VW Thing

Remember the VW Thing? I am sure you wish you'd never been reminded of this abomination. Thankfully VW only imported them to the U.S. for only 2 years, 1973 and 1974. What the heck were they thinking? Did Volkswagen management really think this would be a huge seller? Just take a look at this ugly piece of ****. Thankfully the few that did sell around here went to an early grave due to the rust worms that loved the fine poorly rustproofed German sheet metal. Just climb into the interior and settle down into those comfy looking seats. I've seen nicer seating sitting out at the curb. Talk about a spartan interior, even the bean counters couldn't have found a way to save a penny here. Look at all of the safety equipment in one of these puppies. Hopefully no one is ever involved in any kind of accident with all of the hard metal edges in this thing(pun intended) . Wait, is that one of those bic pen knock-off windshield wiper stalks we saw in the VW Rabbit? Nuts don't fall far from the tree do they? The robust turn signal stalk must have fallen off already. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this engineering marvel.

Buick Roadmaster

Buick introduced the extremely large Roadmaster Sedan and Wagons in the early 1990's. Many referred to these vehicles as bloated or beached whales. They are gargantuan in length and width. Many states require "WIDE VEHICLE" signs when these barges are driven on public streets. Picture one of these hippos in the rear view mirror of your Smart Car, hope you have an extra pair of shorts available! Driving one of these around town is like piloting the Queen Mary through tight locks. Try parking one of these in one of the compact parking spaces that are being installed in all of the malls built in America. Can you say 10 pound package in a 5 pound space! Maybe high gas prices are a good thing, as this dinosaur should be extinct!

1975 VW Rabbit

Remember all the way back to 1974 when VW introduced the groundbreaking Rabbit. In other parts of the world this car was known as the Golf. VW must have thought that naming a cheap tin box after a warm and fuzzy rodent would make it more palatable to the U.S. consumer. Take a look at that plush interior. Talk about bottom of the barrel plastics and vinyls they used in this thing. Wouldn't that vinyl bucket seat look inviting on a cold winter or hot summer day? The material looks like something that was used on a 1950 boat. Is that BIC pen sticking out of the left side of the steering column? No, it can't be one because the pens have more style. Jeez, talk about an ugly stalk! The turn signal stalk is made out of the same cheezy material. They definitely should have talked to the BIC people before coming out with this hideous design. Did you also notice the ugly black appendage that is hanging out below the center of the dashboard? If this is the heater, most manufacturers had figured out years, no eons ago, how to put this item behind the dash and out of sight. What happened to all of the supposedly better German engineering that went into this thing? I hear it all of the time how German engineering is God's gift to the world. Not to get off topic, but if anyone can take a simple design and make it complex the Germans can. Just take a look at many Mercedes cars and how complex they are. Holy crap batman! Back off the rant. The Rabbits body around here rusted out quicker then some of the Chevy Vegas, and that is hard to do if you took any precautions against corrosion. Guess the engineers in Germany had never seen rust before, so they didn't know how to slow it processes down to make the sheet metal last longer. I won't even begin to go on about what a tin can this car road like on those 13 " tires, nor about the lack of any soundproofing in the interior. Compared to a VW Beetle, this thing probably road and drove like a limousine!

Smart Car

HA, HA, HA!!!! It isn't easy typing this after seeing this joke of a vehicle.
I bet the Smart(?) Car could fit in the trunk of the Crown Victoria that is behind it in the second photo. What a joke of a car(and I use the term car very loosely). It would be way cool to see an Ford F150 or Dodge Ram pickup run into one of these eggs on wheels. Can you say scrambled brains and viscera? Picture how far this thing would bounce and roll after getting struck by anything bigger then a big wheel.

Buick Century & Oldsmobile Cutlass Aeroback

The Buick Century and Oldsmobile Cutlass Aeroback coupe and 4 door sedans were some of the ugliest designs out of Detroit in the late 1970's. GM took a standard 2 or 4 door and slapped this abomination of a hatchback to a nice looking car, but to what purpose. Were people clamoring for a hatchback Cutlass or Regal? Did GM need a sleek design to go racing with? Whatever the case, the designers must have been on hallucinogenic minerals when these things were on the drawing board. If forced to drive one of these things, I would have only taken it out after dark, and would have considered getting a limo tint on the windows. Thankfully there are not many left on the streets in America. Do you think the designers of this car have it in their portfolio when looking for a new job?

Chevrolet Malibu Maxx

The Malibu Maxx was maxx in everything but looks. Even the word Maxx makes me want to regurgitate. I cannot say it better then Car and Driver magazine, "To American eyes, the body is a somewhat runty-looking cross between a family sedan and an ice chest, but it speaks to the Continental preference for hatchbacks." The Europeans would never fall for such an abomination. Leave it to the US automakers to take an existing sedan and tack a hatch on to it, and think it would sell. Remember the Oldsmobile Cutlass, and Buick Century of the mid 1980's. GM took a 4 door version of these and slapped on a hideous looking rear sloping hatchback. This nasty looking vehicle will be fodder for a future blog posting.